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Drink Your Water in a Martini Glass

by amy155, posted in Health/Wellness

As warm weather approaches, many of us are focusing more intently on our health and work out routines.  Summer is coming!  I know I’m making a real effort to eat right and work out consistently.   Also, drinking more water is key.

I’ve found that finding an attractive vessel for my water helps me drink more.  I have a bright turquoise thermal water bottle I take with me everywhere.  The color is one I can’t miss in my tote bag, and it feels fashionable when I pull it out to take some sips.

But I tried something new recently, when I wanted a cocktail at home.  Instead of going for it, getting out the gin, vermouth and olives for a tempting Gin Martini, I poured filtered water into a martini glass, added a lime wedge and started sipping.

Guess what?  It felt great, and I didn’t miss the real martini at all.  The fancy glass changed my perspective.

Isn’t that how life works?  A different thing, person, book, coincidence or situation can change your perspective about things.  In fact, my pastor says that God speaks to you through people, situations and His Word.  This is so very true!  How often have we gone down a road of thought only to see things very differently through the variety of lenses that become available to us?

As I sipped my water, I lit a candle, played some jazz and just had a wonderful few moments of peace and solitude.  The water was cleansing, and the martini glass had me feeling like I had treated myself.  Indeed I had–to my own health!  This was a very easy way to enhance my self-care regimen–something I take very seriously.  Instead of chastising myself about drinking more water, I found a way to make that important activity more engaging and positive.

Try it sometime!  Make drinking your water special.  It’s so vital for our health, and our perspectives on life are vital, too.  Doing the same thing in a different way, seeing people and situations in a differently can open our eyes to possibilities that are hidden, waiting for us to find them and explore the options that many times are right in front of us.

Don’t save your good glasses only for special occasions.  Use them regularly.  Because YOU are special!  Using your special things “just because” can shift your perspective immediately, and I believe this can make you feel differently and enhance how you see your world.

Sip On Sizzlers!

Hugs,

Amy

Create your Own History

by amy155, posted in Finances/Entrepreneurship, Health/Wellness, Relationships

Amy - SA60 - Create Your Own History

You are doing it whether you realize it or not.

We are in Women’s History Month now, and because of the recent loss of my Mom, I reflect often on the lessons, wisdom and joy she gave me.  In doing so, I also recognize that like many women, she created history.  It wasn’t widely celebrated in the media, but it’s historic nonetheless.  She was a renaissance woman as many women are today–reinventing ourselves as our careers, families, communities as the world evolves.  We create history in our spheres of influence.  That is important to realize!  We all know of someone who touched our lives either long ago or recently that changed our trajectory.  We all know or have ourselves changed paths after seeing what someone else has done, and thought–“Hey, I can do that too!”  Many life changes have improved situations for countless others.  When you change a job, start a business, write a book or article that is thought provoking, volunteer in your community…you are putting your imprint on history.

Often, we tend to step back and not look at the value we create with our actions, big and small.  I didn’t always focus on that.  But as time inevitably marches on, I have embrace the mindset of somehow creating value everyday, even if it is just with a smile.  Every day we can ask ourselves: what are we doing to create value in our families, careers, and communities?  Each one can reach one, and create history.

So often, we compare ourselves to more known people–celebrities, politicians, entrepreneurs who have done incredible things that have changed the world.  We think-“Wow, what I’m doing can’t match or top that!”  Well, if it possibly can, great–but I submit it doesn’t have to.  The question is, what are you doing with YOUR gift to change lives or a life?  We cannot have the mentality of just “Looking Out for Number 1.”  That was a popular book some years ago, and lots of people bought into that philosophy, more often  tuning into their favorite radio station, WIFM–“What’s In it For Me.”  Doing so may feel good for the moment, yet can also lead to feelings of isolation from the collective needs of us as humans.

The world today needs everyones talent and best thinking.  Seismic change is happening so fast, it’s hard to keep up!  Yet, it is indeed possible to not only keep up but move the needle forward with a mindset that says, “I matter.  What I can do matters.  Every Day.”

It truly doesn’t take much.  Pass on that article. Or write it and pass it on.  Make that phone call.  Paint that picture.  Shoot that shot.  Try something new and share the results to inspire others.  It’s amazing the things that can make a difference and motivate others, who may then indeed change the world.

So, as we celebrate Women in March, go out there and create YOUR OWN HISTORY.  Own it and don’t forget to pass it on!

See you soon Sizzlers!

Hugs,

Amy

 

 

 

 

Saluting Debbie Allen – and the Power of Asking for What you Want

by amy155, posted in Beauty/Appearance/Style, Finances/Entrepreneurship, Health/Wellness, Relationships

As we celebrate Black History Month, I’m honored to salute a woman who is truly Sizzling After 60 and has been making history for a LOOOONNG time, Debbie Allen.  This new article in Elle Magazine says it all–“Debbie Will Determine”:

https://www.elle.com/culture/a26360352/debbie-allen-greys-anatomy-interview/?fbclid=IwAR2-L8OA90xoksXqvazS_exvtkbTMKyezYYxrlwjr7WUgAdUDgiph68O7-M

Debbie Allen - Emily Shur for Elle

Photo by Emily Shur for Elle

Debbie has been a trailblazer for years.  Her supreme talent, incredible vision, infectious energy, indomitable tenacity and commitment to excellence and Black culture have kept me as a fan.  Like many, I’ve watched her many works on the screen.  I first met Debbie in person when she launched the premiere of her movie Amistad at the newly opened and Black-owned ICE Theater in Chicago in 1997.  It took her 20 YEARS to get that awesome and Oscar-nominated movie made, and she overcame huge roadblocks to become an executive producer.  I’ll never forget the pride I felt hearing her speak about her journey to get it done.

But then–I had the chance to actually work with Debbie when we were both Trustees of Howard University at the same time.  And, I’m proud to say that we are both alums.

As soon as Debbie got on the Trustee Board, she started thinking of ways to use artistic creativity to help Howard.  At the time, Founder’s Library was in dire need of funds for repairs.  So she suggested holding a fundraiser for Founder’s Library, and I happily signed up to be on the committee.

Needless to say…we had a BLAST!  Debbie recruited her sister, Phylicia Rashad (another Howard alum), Tariji P. Henson, her daughter Vivian Allen and others to perform.  The evening at the newly refurbished Howard Theater was a stellar success.  But what endeared me to Debbie was how she worked—the word NO was just not in her vocabulary.

To see her operate, was re-affirming.  It re-affirmed the fact that we can be game changers at any age.  We just have to decide to continue to be so.  The only one stopping us from doing great things at any age is US.

The Founder’s Library Committee had to find donors, secure venues, plan a show, sell tickets, get publicity, engage the school administration, all in an effort to do something new and untried.  And it was not only hard work, but it was exhilarating, because we were not only all on-purpose, but working under Debbie’s leadership was powerfully motivating.  I can only imagine what it must be like to be on set with her on Grey’s Anatomy!

Shonda Rhimes speaks in the Elle article about how they met at Debbie Allen’s Dance Academy where she took her daughter for lessons.  Shonda was impressed that Debbie was actually there–not jut lending her name.  And that’s Debbie.  When she’s involved, she’s THERE all the way.  This “being there” philosophy is a lesson for anyone seeking to move others, to lead others.  Shonda saw it, and knew she wanted it from Debbie as a director and now executive producer of Grey’s Anatomy.  When your team, your crew, your family, your investors and your community see that you are truly THERE with them, the energy that’s generated can move mountains, and when applied to obstacles, that collective energy can make the naysayers of your dreams fade away, or at minimum, become more open to hearing your point of view.

Importantly, Debbie shares his bit of advice when seeking to live your dreams:  When you want something, ASK for it!!  In her own words, she says, “Guuurl, if you want something, you need to make sure people know it! Say yes. Say yes loudly. And don’t let anybody misunderstand the longing of your heart.”  Make sure, Debbie says, that people KNOW what passions rule your heart.  My late mother also shared this philosophy and taught it to me and others.  It is so important!

President Obama thanked God for Debbie Allen when he was at a Hollywood fundraiser  in 2014.  I totally join him in doing so.  She is a blessing to us all.

See you soon.

Hugs,

Amy

Get Your Glow On! Skin Care and Inner Care

by amy155, posted in Beauty/Appearance/Style, Health/Wellness

With the ACTUAL temperatures in Chicago currently at -20 below and a wind chill of -50 below, it’s a good time to take a look at your skin care regimen.  We don’t want our faces to crack, no matter what the weather!

I’m often asked about my skin, what I use/do to keep it glowing.  These shots are 25 years apart–1993 on the right and 2018 on the left.  Neither pics have filters.  While makeup does help (concealer anyone?), you want your skin to shine through.  Happy to share what’s worked for me, and hope my tips are helpful to you.skin shots 1990-2018

First, drink lots of WATER.  I know you’ve heard this before, but it really works to flush out toxins that can show up on your skin.

Next, find PRODUCTS suited for your skin type.  Some folks swear by bar soaps like Dove, and say Vaseline is great for moisture.  Others like me, prefer a line of products developed to work together.  For several years, I used Meaningful Beauty by Cindy Crawford, http://www.meaningfulbeauty.com.  I was such a fan, they featured me on their infomercial for over a year!  The shot below is from the monitor when we filmed the infomercial in 2013.

skin shot mb 2013

That was fun, but most importantly, the products are very good.  One of the best in her line is the Intensive Triple Exfoliating Treatment.  It’s a peel, scrub and detox treatment all in one, and resurfaces your skin.  Also, the Ultra Lifting ad Filling Treatment for the neck is fabulous.  Really works on those lines and crepey skin.

skin shot - mb cindy crawford

However, for some, it’s important to change up your products as there are many new technological product improvements happening all the time.  I love going to ULTA Beauty, http://www.ulta.com because you can see what’s new in both prestige and moderately priced lines.  Also, like your exercise routine, you may need to switch things up to keep getting the results you want.

With that in mind, I changed up my skin care products last year to Mary Kay Time Wise 3D, http://www.marykay.com.  I had used Mary Kay years before, but this new line is truly awesome.  That’s what I am using in the 2018 photo.  For my Combination skin type, the line includes an Exfoliating Cleanser, Day and Night Moisturizers and an Eye Cream.  They have separate product lines for Normal to Dry Skin types.  Like Meaningful Beauty, Time Wise is state-of-the-art for Anti-Aging.  And, it is less expensive!

skin shot - mary kay time wise

Here are more tips no matter what products you use on your skin.

First, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS take off your makeup before going to bed.  No matter how tired you are.  Your skin needs to breathe.  I call it “Taking the Day off” my face.  It feels sooo good–kinda like taking off your bra when you get home, LOL!  For taking off eye makeup, which I do first, I use plain old Baby Oil and a cotton pad.  Works as well as Eye Remover products.  Next, I use Exfoliating Towelettes by Equate–Walmart’s private label skin care line.  Best ever, and really a great value!

skin shots - wm towelettes

Next tip: MOISTURIZE, MOISTURIZE, MOISTURIZE!  No matter what type of skin you have, it is vital to keep it moisturized with creams that contain SPF ingredients to protect from the your skin from the sun.  Saw on Oprah a 70-year-old woman with flawless skin who put on moisturizer to get mail from her mailbox!  And don’t forget your neck and hands.  Often those areas are neglected, and they show age quite readily.  Seriously.  I keep hand cream with me at all times, and use it throughout the day and right before bed.  There are several good neck creams out in addition to Cindy Crawford’s.  Moisturize daily after cleansing and nightly before bed.

More:  EXFOLIATE!  As often as your skin will allow.  Getting the dead skin cells off definitely lets you glow.  Skin brushes can be great, but be careful not to overuse.  If you can cleanse your face in the shower, it’s easy to add a scrub to your cleanser and do both at once (a tip from my daughter, Angelica!).  This goes for your body also (another Angelica tip:  use exfoliating gloves in the shower for the body).  I find this also makes it easy to check for suspicious lumps on a regular basis.

Additional Skin Savers:  MASKS.  Pull those impurities right out and relax at the same time.  Once a week is good.  And VITAMINS/SUPPLEMENTS can help too–Omega 3-6-9 and collagen capsules are favs of mine.

So…that’s what I do.  Your skin can be glowing for years with a good regimen and products that work for you.  Just be sure your mind and spirit use good rejuvenating regimens also, so your glow will also come from within!

These are my tips…what are yours?

See you next week.

Hugs,

Amy

 

 

Stay Vibrant!

by amy155, posted in Beauty/Appearance/Style, Health/Wellness, Relationships

millie cruzat and amy

This is Millie Cruzat.  She’ll be 92 years young next month…and I mean YOUNG!!  You may have seen her on Chicago’s Windy City Live television show sharing her tips for living long and well.  She’s a former dancer and yoga enthusiast who can still do an awesome high kick, and wears her stilettos with ripped jeans!  She’s totally motivating.  Almost 30 years older than me!!  Her top longevity tips:  KEEP IT MOVING and BE POSITIVE!  Every time I see her I just have to hug her and stand in her energy.  I just love her.  Why?  Because she epitomizes Staying VIBRANT.  Seriously.

What is Vibrancy?  It’s the state of being full of energy and LIFE.   It’s exuberance, jazziness, vitality, robustness, cheerfulness, effervescence, friskiness…I could go on and on.  All I know is THAT’S how I want to be at 92 years old.

And I also know you can’t be that way at 92 if you don’t start being that way right now.  No matter what your age.  It’s a decision.

Every day we can decide how we want to be, how we want to feel and what we want to do.  I want to be vibrant, want to feel happy and want to eat right and exercise.   Who’s stopping me–NO ONE.  Who’s stopping you?

Let’s look at the alternative descriptive words if you’re not vibrant:  lifelessness, lethargy, apathy, laziness, spiritlessness, anemia, dullness–UGH!!!  Those words are not for me.  Will not claim them at all.

So how can we build Vibrancy into our lives every day?  Here are a few tips that have been working for me:

Daily meditation.  Drinking water when I first wake up–seems to flush out fogginess.  Doing some stretching to get my blood flowing.  Putting on workout clothes BEFORE getting coffee LOL.  Being grateful.  Going to bed at a decent hour.  Getting GOOD sleep.  Laughing–watching “Blackish” does it every time.  Connecting with people that you love.  Giving hugs.  Helping someone else.  Taking off my makeup before going to bed, no matter how tired I am.  Exfoliating regularly all over.  Standing up straight–Posture is powerful.  Dancing to my favorite songs all by myself.  Getting my hair done and seeing it look great as I pass by a mirror.  Pedicures, anyone?  Misting my one plant that has been growing for ten years, and seeing how water brings it to life.  Drinking LOTS of water–I found a snazzy and sleek bright turquoise thermos that keeps water cold for hours.  I add lemon slices to it after squeezing them for juice and it refreshes me all day.  Being creative and in the ZONE with my work.  Telling it like it is.  No time for foolishness–but learning and always trying to do so with compassion and empathy.  Finding out my favorite clothes fit better when I am FIT–instant wardrobe re-builder!

Again, I could go on and on.  So tell me what works for YOU!!  What do you do to stay vibrant??  Let’s get this list to be as long and creative as we can.  I’ll share your tips in a later post so we can all be like Millie at 92:

Slamming.  Slaying.  And Sizzling.  Go Millie!!

Looking forward to hearing your ideas.

 

Hugs,

Amy

 

 

 

 

Becoming Yourself

by amy155, posted in Health/Wellness, Relationships

I had the wonderful opportunity to see Michelle Obama on her book tour for Becoming.  It was simply amazing.

She posed the question to us all:  Who are You Becoming?  

amy becoming

To me, the answer is–Yourself.  As time goes on, it has gotten crystal clear to me that being true to yourself is the key to real happiness.  No one but you can decide what your passions are.  No one but you can decide to pursue them–or not.  No one can tell you what color should be your favorite, what book you will enjoy, what tastes good, what clothes you like, music you like jamming to, people you prefer–basically, what floats your boat.  

And once you realize the power in Becoming Yourself, confidence grows.  Trusting  your gut instincts becomes stronger.  You believe you can fly.  Why?  I think it’s because when you feel good about yourself, that radiates out to others.  The vibration of your positive internal energy can light fires of creativity, bring joy, and diffuse tensions.  When you know who YOU are, you inspire people to want to be around you and to help you direct you to your life’s purpose.   

What’s really gratifying though, is the fact that for many women–myself included, “Becoming Yourself” happens later in life.  It’s after you’ve been through some stuff.  Taken some hits.  Lost some battles, jobs, lovers, friends, family.  Then you wake up and realize, “Hey, I’m still here–still standing!”  And you become stronger knowing that you will not only survive, but thrive from the lessons learned in the trenches of becoming who you are. 

When you are grounded in who you are, it’s easier to let things go, as well as stand up for what you believe.  There’s a nuanced balance in doing that.  Every fight isn’t worth the battle.  Yet, letting things slide to “keep the peace” isn’t necessarily the best path either.  How do you know which fork in the road toward becoming yourself to take?  Experience. 

Experience is one of the best teachers of discernment.   And discernment is the art of knowing when to stop, go, release, run, walk, talk, be silent, listen, laugh or cry through any given situation for the best possible outcome.   Experience teaches discernment, and with strong discernment muscles, wisdom can grow and thankfully, be shared.  

I am absolutely loving growing older and experiencing the benefits of wisdom.  It feels so good to have an increasingly accurate inner compass to direct my thoughts, actions, behaviors and decisions based on lessons learned over the years. 

Becoming Yourself is a true blessing.   It’s a never ending process too, Thank God.  One of my favorite sayings is “As long as I can look up, I can get up.”  I can get my mind up and body moving.  Even when my body won’t cooperate, I hope my mind will still be able to, allowing me to keep on keeping on–growing and Becoming Myself!

How about you?  Are you Becoming Yourself this year? 

That’s a good resolution to have.

See you next week.

Hugs, Amy

Being Healthy is My Legacy

by amy155, posted in Beauty/Appearance/Style, Health/Wellness, Relationships

Happy New Year!

Thank you to everyone for your very kind calls, texts, cards and prayers on the passing of my beloved Mom last month.  As I continue to miss my Mom dearly, one lesson she taught me was to stay active.  Mom used to walk three miles every day with one of her girlfriends in her 50’s.  I remember her telling me of how great that made her feel.  She loved to dance, and was incredibly flexible even in her 90’s.

So, like many of you, I’ve re-committed to my health for the New Year and beyond with some motivation from my Mom.  Here’s a photo of me headed out to the gym…and here’s my Mom doing Yoga at about 90 and when she was visiting me in Chicago at 88 years old, getting ready to hit the pool!  A former acrobatic performer in her teens, Mom loved to swim also.

mom and me working out

As 2019 begins, my thoughts remain grounded in the legacy my Mom left me and so many others.  A key one, is that health means everything.   I saw this vibrant, brilliant, energetic, accomplished woman deal with thyroid issues, female issues, Stage 1 breast cancer, diabetes and most painfully, dementia.   She worked hard to maintain her health, but the stress of caregiving for my Dad full time for seven years finally began to take its toll on her health.  Once he passed, her health started to become impacted.  Caregivers pay a big price to care.

I am so glad that I am healthy, an able to exercise and eat foods that are good for me (with the occasional cheat day or treat)!  This is a blessing not to be taken for granted.  I want you all to make the commitment to move more, eat better and relieve your stress.  We can stay vibrant and sizzle for a long time if we do!

What does it take?  Not a lot, really.  The winter in Chicago so far has been pretty mild, so go out for a quick walk.  Hurry up, though, because we all know the snow and cold blast will come!  Stretch when you get up.  Drink lots of water.  Get a small set of hand weights and use them.  I gave Mom a set at 92, and she’d use them when guided.  Go dancing!  Get into the gym at your building if you have one, or invest in yourself by joining a gym to use their equipment and see others there with the same goals–it’s inspiring.

Eating better can be phased into your lifestyle.  It takes making the decision to do so.  More green veggies, less sweets, less red meat, smaller portions.   Yes, the holidays had lots of delectable temptations…but now it’s time to re-set your taste buds.

Here’s the challenge, though…not to let January be the only month you stick to your goals.  Stick to your Life instead!  I know what I’m sharing is not new.  But I can tell you, seeing my Mom flexible, wearing high heels and in relatively good physical health in her 90’s has inspired me!  She Sizzled All The Way!!

So Sizzlers, let’s GOOOO!  Looking good is nice, but FEELING good is the best!

Hugs,

Amy

 

 

 

 

Cherish the Time – For Real

by amy155, posted in Health/Wellness, Relationships

As Christmas approaches, I’m reflecting on the fabulous Thanksgiving holiday full of food, family, laughter and love that I had with my family. It was crystal clear to me that times like this are to be cherished.  Moments of happiness aren’t to be taken for granted, because in a heartbeat life can permanently change.  Accidents, sickness, fires, storms–all can change the trajectory of the best laid plans.  So, I’m truly focusing on the things that feel good, people who mean a lot and where I choose to spend my time.

How many times have we thought, “There’s always tomorrow?”  Well, sometimes there isn’t.

mom-in-red-and-girls-thanksgiving-20181

Mom and Us – Thanksgiving 2018

This is a shot of my Mom, Gwen Hilliard, two of my sisters Gloria and Wendy and my niece Amina as we headed out to dinner at a restaurant for the first time for Thanksgiving.  For 20 years, I was the CFO…the Chief Food Officer of our annual Thanksgiving reunion of over 30 people…Whew!  My daughter Angelica is now the CFO, after I “let go of the spoon”–LOL.  But this year, she had to work, and I wasn’t coming out of retirement to cook!  So at the urging of my cousin Adele, I suggested kindly but directly, that we had to try something new.  So off we went to Sullivan’s in Baltimore and had a great time.

We cherished every moment of Thanksgiving week.  Making ComfortCake with my grand-nieces; Angelica in fact cooking on Friday so the crowd would have leftovers, including her now famous Macaroni and Cheese–(she took my recipe and made it her own).  My now-towering nephews eating everything in sight, and my newest 4-month-old grand-nephew stealing all hearts.  My Mom would sit with us in the kitchen as we laughed over family stories, debated the latest political situations and I tried my best to learn the Flossing dance (I need a LOT more practice).  In sum, we had a blast and Mom didn’t want to miss the fun!

Then, a week after Thanksgiving, my 94-year-old Mom was rushed to the hospital.  She has advanced dementia.  We weren’t sure what was wrong, but she was slurring her speech and was in pain.  Was it a stroke?  We were all on high alert, as at her age and frailty, anything could happen.

And that’s what inspired this post.  As I paced the floor back in Chicago awaiting word of Mom’s status, the fact that we were all together for Thanksgiving took on intense meaning.  It could be my Mom’s last.  We had to Cherish The Time.

While I was in Baltimore, I spent time with Mom as her primary caregiver, as Jessie, our beloved caregiver for Mom spent time with her family for the holiday.  It was tough work; but I cherished the opportunity to do it.  There were times when Mom just loved being hugged, and I loved hugging her.  To think that a few days later that opportunity might be gone forever in an instant–it was truly sobering.

All I can share is that please, tell those you love that you love them.  Spend TIME with them.  It is the one thing that can never be replaced.  Time will march on no matter what.  Don’t let small things become big things that keep love away.  It just isn’t worth it.  Forgive and move on to Cherish The Time that you can share.

This year, I’ve lost three close mentees/friends/mentors.  Chef Judson Allen, 36.  Ken Smikle, 66, Barry Rand, 74.  All gone too soon.  The blessing that I am most grateful for though, is that I cherished the times with them.  Texts, smiles, dinners, emails, hugs.  They knew I loved them, and that they were important to my life.

And on December 10, 2018, I lost my beloved Mom. She passed painlessly in her sleep; she had told me several times recently that she wanted to go home and be with my Dad. As I go through moments of deep sadness mixed with moments of joyful remembrance, I am blessed with the knowledge that she truly earned her wings. Her positive spirit touched everyone she encountered. A trailblazing, globe-trotting pioneer, Gwen Hilliard was an educator, entrepreneur and community servant. She raised us to be women of God, women of family, and women who use our gifts. Mom had a long, vibrant, beautiful life, and I am so very grateful that she knew how much I loved her and that I will cherish her always.

Time is important.  Cherish It.

See you next week.

Hugs,

Amy

 

 

Cherish The Time

by amy155, posted in Health/Wellness, Relationships

There’s a universal law that never changes…time marches on.  

As I’ve just had a fabulous Thanksgiving holiday full of food, family, laughter and love, it was crystal clear to me that times like this are to be cherished.  Moments of happiness aren’t to be taken for granted, because in a heartbeat life can permanently change.  Accidents, sickness, fires, storms–all can change the trajectory of the best laid plans.  So, I’m truly focusing on the things that feel good, people who mean a lot and where I choose to spend my time.

How many times have we thought, “There’s always tomorrow?”  Well, sometimes there isn’t.  

  •                                    Mom and Us – Thanksgiving 2018

This is a shot of Mom, two of my sisters Gloria and Wendy and my niece Amina as we headed out to dinner at a restaurant for the first time for Thanksgiving.  For 20 years, I was the CFO…the Chief Food Officer of our annual Thanksgiving reunion of over 30 people…Whew!  My daughter Angelica is now the CFO, after I “let go of the spoon”–LOL.  But this year, she had to work, and I wasn’t coming out of retirement to cook!  So at the urging of my cousin Adele, I suggested kindly but directly, that we had to try something new.  So off we went to Sullivan’s in Baltimore and had a great time.  

We cherished every moment of Thanksgiving week.  Making ComfortCake with my grand-nieces; Angelica in fact cooking on Friday so the crowd would have leftovers, including her now famous Macaroni and Cheese–(she took my recipe and made it her own).  My now-towering nephews eating everything in sight, and my newest 4-month-old grand-nephew stealing all hearts.  My Mom would sit with us in the kitchen as we laughed over family stories, debated the latest political situations and I tried my best to learn the Flossing dance (I need a LOT more practice).  In sum, we had a blast and Mom didn’t want to miss the fun!

Then, a week after Thanksgiving, my 94-year-old Mom was rushed to the hospital.  She has advanced dementia.  We weren’t sure what was wrong, but she was slurring her speech and was in pain.  Was it a stroke?  We were all on high alert, as at her age and frailty, anything could happen.

And that’s what inspired this post.  As I paced the floor back in Chicago awaiting word of Mom’s status, the fact that we were all together for Thanksgiving took on intense meaning.  It could be my Mom’s last.  We had to Cherish The Time.

While I was in Baltimore, I spent time with Mom as her primary caregiver, as Jessie, our beloved caregiver for Mom spent time with her family for the holiday.  It was tough work; but I cherished the opportunity to do it.  There were times when Mom just loved being hugged, and I loved hugging her.  To think that a few days later that opportunity might be gone forever in an instant–it was truly sobering.

All I can share is that please, tell those you love that you love them.  Spend TIME with them.  It is the one thing that can never be replaced.  Time will march on no matter what.  Don’t let small things become big things that keep love away.  It just isn’t worth it.  Forgive and move on to Cherish The Time that you can share.  

This year, I’ve lost three close mentees/friends/mentors.  Chef Judson Allen, 36.  Ken Smikle, 66, Barry Rand, 74.  All gone too soon.  The blessing that I am most grateful for though, is that I cherished the times with them.  Texts, smiles, dinners, emails, hugs.  They knew I loved them, and that they were important to my life.  

I am so very grateful that my Mom is doing better.  That she is still here.  That she knows I love her and cherish her.  

It is so worth the time.  Cherish It.

See you next week.

Hugs, 

Amy

 

The Power of Gratefulness

by amy155, posted in Health/Wellness, Relationships

As we approach Thanksgiving and the holiday season, it’s a good time for reflection on Gratefulness.

affection appreciation decoration design
Photo by Carl Attard on Pexels.com

I’m so grateful and thankful for God’s grace.  Family and friends are gathering to share bonds of love.  So much is happening in the world today that could be otherwise for me, you and countless others.  The daily news lets us all know but for the grace of God go we.

Even so, we sometimes don’t focus on that, right?  Have you ever been in a bad mood?  Didn’t know how to shift out of it?  I have.  Gotta be honest…sometimes it feels good to stay mad, frustrated, to call your BFF and vent about it.  “I can’t BELIEVE she did that.  He makes me SOOO mad when he does this.  Traffic is a MESS!”  And on and on.  If you take a moment in those times and feel how your body is responding, it could alert you to take a different tack.  Your heart is racing, forehead is creased, breathing is rushed…Hmmm.  Definitely NOT Sizzling.  Or worse, could be lighting a fire when dousing it is a better solution.

Well, I’ve found that finding something to be grateful in any and all situations can be the solution.  We’ve all heard this before.  “Find the good.  There’s a lesson to be learned.  There’s a silver lining.”  In the middle of frustration, though, those positives may be hard to get to.

Here’s what I’m learning to more consistently do.  Keep it simple.  Be grateful.  Just. Be. Grateful.  Grateful to be able to breathe.  To walk, talk and chew gum at the same time.

Let me share how this came home for me.  I’ve shared this with some of you.  In 1988, my cousin Brett, who was like a sister to me, was killed in a car accident.  Her parents were devastated, and needed my help.  I jumped on a plane to LA.  My aunt, Brett’s Mom, took me directly to the wig shop to get a wig as Brett went through the windshield, and her beautiful long hair was lost.  The next stop was the funeral home, where I had to go downstairs with the mortician.  Never went downstairs before…and I proceeded to comb the wig on Brett while he put her face back together.  Whew.  That’s when I really knew what it meant to be dead.  I had an out of body experience and told Brett to get up ’cause we were outta there!  But she couldn’t.  I realized then that… As long as I could look up, I could get up.

I started saying that to my kids all the time.  My son Nick now has that tattooed on his arm.   And that is powerful.

I’m truly grateful for the ability to be able to just look up.  When you look up, things instantly can feel better.  Heart calms down.  Mind slows down.  A smile can be found.  Appreciation can increase.  And that’s the power of gratefulness.  Because when people, things or situations threaten your well-being, turning on the grateful switch changes your energy.  It can be felt immediately.  I find it can give a boost to my thinking, and propel me in a better direction.  Gratefulness is juice energy, and tapping into your juice is always amazing.  I’m learning that the energy we embrace not only affects me, but everyone around me.  It attracts good things and brings out good energy in others.

So, as we get ready to celebrate the holidays and beyond, I’ll be keeping that Grateful Switch ON!  

How about you?  What are your grateful for?  How has being grateful changed your life?

Have a Happy Turkey Day!

Hugs,

Amy